Trick or Treat
With Halloween just around the corner we’re wondering, who’s in costume and for whom a sheet or brown paper bag with wholes on would be an improvement.
– Look, we get it, no one likes losing, and everyone likes winning, but seriously, no one is willing to sell their soul to the crypt keeper just to get a win in league….. UNLESS of course you’re talking about Josh Layton. He put Fleming and Nelen on the same team?!?!?! YIKES. I too like to live dangerously, operative word being “live”. What’s the over under on any “contested calls”? There’s no way they actually lose any close games. https://goo.gl/images/xZFExX They have the all-star team for any rules manipulation or contest. Then you have the league darlings of Layton and Fresca who’ll play the pity card should they end up on the wrong end of things. The only redeemable quality about this team is that they have a few likeable players, Dixon, Shea, Kurt, Lisa, and good ole ‘turn that frown upside down’ Dr. Tom Brown.
This team looks like your typical middle school neighborhood. The few nice quiet kids who play hopscotch, ride bikes, and play tag. You know, the type you look forward to tossing extra candy in their baskets when their parents aren’t looking. They always dress up as little unicorns, super heroes, antiheros, and ninjas…. But then the other half of the team is the kids who put dog pooh in a bag and light it on fire on your door step. https://goo.gl/images/hECXYS They play loud mumble rap music on their boom box as they TP and egg your house. They dress up as pop culture references or are too cool to even wear a costume, but they still expect you to give them candy. You know, the type of children who make you start planning ways to sabotage their Halloween 2 weeks out. The type of kids that make you second guess having kids of your own. You gotta find legal ways to make these kids wish they lived in another neighborhood. You secretly hope their parents get a work transfer. You’ve created a master plan, filled buckets of water balloons, put baby oil all over the grass in your front yard. You go out and buy the craziest nozzle you can legally attach to your pressure washer. Now you have a water hose that can snipe someone at 30ft with a precise projectile stream of H20. You wait patiently in the bushes and spray them with the water house screaming, “get off my lawn”. As they run, trip, slip, and slide, you just hold down your hose nozzle, all the meanwhile cackling maniacally. You throw water balloons at them from the top of your roof, bombarding them with secret hopes they get cavities and upset stomachs from too much candy. https://goo.gl/images/T22yqL
**disclaimer – I have not been daydreaming about ruining Josh’s Halloween** ps that blemish to purple does not look pretty on the resume… Zac Floyd would be disgusted https://goo.gl/images/YdXzGr
On a scale of arguably the best Halloween candy Twix – to the absolute worst, Razor Blade in an Apple this team gets a solid Week old Dollar Tree Candy. But at 4 and 2 it seems like being evil pay dividends if you’re willing to sell your less athletic years to the devil. Likely chance they make it into the Champ Bracket as the team no one wants to win it all.
Forest – (3-3)
Oh forest oh Forest, how should I critique thee? Boil and bubble, Toil and Trouble, New and Dusty, Naïve and Crusty. When you’ve won its been by the skin of your teeth and when you’ve lost boy has it been ugly. Their whole team should just come out to league in Shrek costumes. Perhaps we could say this team is like an onion, its got layers, most of which when pealed back will make you cry or give you IBS and a solid case of bad breath in the morning. https://goo.gl/images/yocYez
You’ve got Goldilocks and the Three Bears, Little Red Riding hood and the Big Bad Wolf. Season after season Greathouse seems embroiled ** rightfully so or not** in some scandal. If the guy is in charge of league someone let me know, because he sure gets blamed for everything that goes wrong and none of the credit for everything that goes right. Come to think of it, does anyone get/take credit for what’s good about league? Sorry Rabbit Trail.
There’s not much to say about this team there is literally one and only one redeeming quality about this team and it’s their fair ladies. Maybe a good theme could be princesses and Toads? If they could field a team of their 4 standout girls Asa (unstoppable cutting), Lauren (unstoppable cutting and arguably the best handler on the team) , Emily (unstoppable threat to score), and Victoria (steal of the draft)? https://goo.gl/images/qQ69br And just three side kicks who know how “not to lose the game” maybe Fletcher, Raul, and Millsy would do the trick? This seems like a bold strategy at first but think about it, 1) Greathouse can drink and bask in the glory of what he’s created 2) Timmy can sit and smoke on the sideline and not worry about league blaming him for sneaking into the draft ***it was a lose-lose situation from the start brother, next time just pay on time***. And Bailey could just look in a mirror and tell himself how beautiful he thinks he is https://goo.gl/images/134U7t . and ride a stallion bare back to the sound of Fabio’s greates hits (Prince Charming anyone?), Greathouse the King of the Swamp, and Schooly could pass as Lord Farquaad who’s bark is bigger than his bite.
Let’s hope Donk-ay makes waffles in the morning. https://goo.gl/images/ocgUgA
This team feels like getting a huge slice of Onion Cake in your goodies bag. Not sure if you should be happy that you saved someone else from having to eat it or upset that now all your good candy smells like onions. https://goo.gl/images/sJVmbN
Iron – (2-5) –
This team is annoyingly good. They are the type of team where you totally think you have the upper-hand but somehow you can stop endless circle cuts from TK, resets, dime intermediate throws from Troy, chilly hammers from Big Switz to his army of little Switzers, and seriously can anyone in this league shut down Gabby? You find her and let me know ***in a private message though so I can draft her 1st round so I can have an option B should Gabby be selected 1st overall*** https://goo.gl/images/c1AKiV
You totally thought you were going to win but every time you look a Bayzler somehow has the disc in the endzone, baby Joel is laughing at you, and you cant help but congratulate them on a beautifully played game and a beautiful baby. https://goo.gl/images/taKCio The only thing that could make this team better is if they somehow snuck Jill and the kids onto their team instead of white. Then this would be the darling team of league. They should be WAY BETTER than they are, here’s to hoping they turn it around. https://goo.gl/images/bj2tuw
This team reminds me of that one friend who had such a great supportive family, who dropped the $$$ and time on designing, sewing, and creating the ultimate Halloween costume. Every time you saw their costume you wanted to go back inside because you’ve been a ghost in a white sheet for 3 years in a row and they manage to win the school costume contest every year. BUT hey, they are your best friend and you’d rather been seen with them, than without them. Here’s to hoping they back door the championship bracket, or at least win the B bracket disc… https://goo.gl/images/bj2tuw serious question…. IS THAT STILL A THING? ROSE? ANYONE? This needs to be a thing again! Give teams a fun reason to play till the very end. League needs fun again, even if its winning the “not last game” for a cellar dweller disc! Make this happen
On a scale of Richard Simmons to Elton John I’m going to give this team a solid score of Bob Ross.
Kelly Mint Green – (2-5)
Who knows why Brandon the mad scientist keeps drafting Adub. He’s even looks a little like Gene Wilder….. hmmmmm….. . https://goo.gl/images/2uc2Gt This teams color is fittingly Frankenstien Green. Its like, “Hmm draft Hayden first, Draft Kbo first, sneak in some sleeper picks, and up n coming players, now who can I possibly draft to ruin it all???? Adub. Now, let me top this beautiful disaster off by drafting a bunch of new people and ensure they never come back to league again.” I literally think this team has forfeited at least 2 games for attendance issues. And haven’t fielded a full team since Lightning ruined the first week of league. It was probably a blessing in disguise. Brandon you truly are a mad scientist, lets hope it works out for you but I think your creation will probably turn on you like it did the doctor. https://goo.gl/images/NS5TKd
I heard they managed to win two games this past weekend, but it was over a lack luster Forest and an depleted DDP-less White. I mean its impressive that Brandon somehow managed to get an FIT ultimate alum Adam in the 7th round, or snag a superb athlete in Austin Norden in the 9th round…. Or even Jay Nwokolo or however you spell that guys name…. https://goo.gl/images/3VUgB8 . But I think this gif explains it all. https://goo.gl/images/2cdsFp
Looks like Bowlin is an idealist at heart. We all saw his formula worked out a few seasons ago and I think they managed 1 win all that season. There’s no turning this season around… just give up.
Anyone ever watched that movie the Good Son? with Mcauley Caulkin, it’s a disturbing movie about a psychopathic child. At the climax of the movie the mother has to decide between saving a redeemable nephew or her demonic child… the choice was self evident https://goo.gl/images/NLgV9X or that one movie with James Franco who’s a hiker who gets his arm pinned…. Sometimes you just gotta decide between the lesser of two evils. https://goo.gl/images/SU3VZs cut your losses figuratively… Or literally.
This is a team that has a TON of great role players, but no leaders. Its like the power rangers minus Tommy or the Ninja turtles without Rafael… its just not gonna work. https://goo.gl/images/Ur3XnH. Its like a headless rider. https://goo.gl/images/bFbEzW They got robbed when they forced the lesser Janelle to be a 6th round. Its stuff like this: the inflexibility and ironically the flexibility of our league, that makes me scratch my head. Flexible to get Darnell into the league, but not flexible enough to realize that Janelle IS NOT A 6TH rounder. https://goo.gl/images/EGf3s3
Look. Everyone likes you, guys so you have nothing to prove or lose. Harleys puppy is ALMOST as cool as she is and quite as likeable. How about we sign the pup up and put him in an Air Bud Costume? This would be the perfect feel good Cinderella story this league needs. https://goo.gl/images/3w72m8 Sydney Switzer is coming into her own and well on her way to being a legit 1st rounder. You’re totally invited to everyone’s Halloween party, you’re just likely not to be the “life of the party”… but who wants to be that anyways? You’re gonna put on your costume, show up, gets some candy, score a few points and possibly have a killer Disney sequel next year.
On a scale from Air Bud to Land Before Time 11 this team gets a solid Oscar for “Cutest Puppy in League”. Is it obvious I don’t know the dogs name? **another private message**
Pink - (1-4)
Yet another surprisingly underperforming team. This league has all the right feels to me. Two solid consistent handlers in Schimmel and Colverson. With the loose cannon of Rose as an X factor, Tori to dominate every facet of the game. **dare I say she’s the heir apparent to Kate as the best girl in league** then you have young fresh talent of Diehl, Kiker, and writing phenom of Alex Richardson. (dude Rose, she has to write all your game reports from here on out) This is probably my favorite team in league. I WANT YOU TO WIN OUT. This league needs the good guys to win. You guys are the Marvel to DC. You’re the feel good pick, the people’s champion. There’s greatness lurking inside each and every one of you. There’s a bright and shining star in all of you…. YET… even though this is probably the most progressive city league you’ll ever play in… we don’t hand out participation awards. Noone wants to go “trick or treating” if they’ve got no candy to show for it. And no one really wants to split their candy with you…. Even if they REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY LIKE YOU. You gotta pick yourself up by the boot straps and do this for the kids. Win one for all the future generations of frisbee’ers that need to know that GOOD eventually triumphs over evil. Please… inspire us one last time. One huck at a time. One smoothie at a time. One sky at a time. Be a force for good. https://goo.gl/images/1M51Se
On a scale of The Phantom Menace to Empire Strikes back you’re my New Hope. https://goo.gl/images/Vy7n3B
Purple - – (4-1)
Look Adam. We all know you’re the best. But this is you’re 5th time around the block. Leave some candy for the rest of the fat kids before you skoot off to the next house. https://goo.gl/images/5bmPfU You’ve won league probably 10 times outta 8 tries and it getting a little old. Didn’t you realize that its not cool to actually try in Gainesville league? Noone wants to guard you anymore. Let Yanuck step into the limelight. This is probably the highest he’s ever been picked and this is the moment he’s been waiting for https://goo.gl/images/8VvDYx . Let Nick let loose that hammer he’s been faking since 3years ago, we all know he wants to throw it, let the inner Thor in him be free! What is the original Dub’s doing as a 6th round pick? Jim Davis is better than an 11th round pick, he must be missing a lot of games or something. Jim, don’t let anyone ever tell you that you’re too old to trick or treat. https://goo.gl/images/3MznBS Joanne seems primed and ready to take league by storm now that her rehab has gone well. I’ve heard good things on the horizon for one Laura “The Truth” Levin. PS someone get heather a last name… how am I supposed to write about someone without a last name on the roster? Sheesh. If this team wins it all, no ones gonna be surprised. You’re that one guy who shows up as a zombie every year. It’s the sickest zombie costume you’ve ever seen, but seriously, you picked Adam, be original, or at least try and make people think you don’t care about winning.
On a scale of delicious to disgusting you get a vote of Sour Head… arguably the best candy of the 90’s
Royal - At (4-2)
You’ve got league right where you want them. Talking about white and purple. But you are my sleeper pick to win it all. Quietly sitting there with the best defender in league, who used to play as hard as Adam and want to win as much as Layton, your’s truly Billy Obryan. Rosie and two other Fuel players can carry the weight of high expectations that I’ve placed on them. Then they have the twin towers of KJ and Ryan, and then the Leaning Tower (youre a work of art you truly are Alek Fartzog****seriously your name in the draft board***) This team has all the right pieces to win league, hands down. Every time I look at your team https://goo.gl/images/v8hMpZ i throw up in my mouth a little bit. I’m just envious. I haven’t actually played you guys yet, but I’m pretty certain it won’t work out well for my team. Can we just go ahead and pre-emptively forfeit in a manner that doesn’t hurt our point differential? https://goo.gl/images/4dh1qg Don’t mess this up!
I feel like I’ve picked 5 teams to win it all…. Sorry not sorry… Oh well… no room for nuance of opinion.
Barker, you’re in uncharted water. You’ve crossed over the line of no return, and lets be honest, you have no idea how you got here. You’re basically a dead man walking. https://goo.gl/images/3jKFGq I’m putting all my money on you guys choking your way outta the champ bracket . I’ve heard through the grape vine half your wins are fake and your teams inner chemistry is a little toxic. Any moment your ship gonna sink. https://goo.gl/images/GjNRe2 I say ride this wave of greatness as far as it will carry you. Hopefully Unmil and Cordes can continue to carry you to the treasure in the map…. Or maybe the deadman’s crew mutinees and tosses you off the plank…. Unless you can Parlay your way to compromise. https://goo.gl/images/jRhUwG. Otherwise I’m just gonna sit back and watch it all burn to the ground. https://goo.gl/images/6nWNfs
On a scale of Jack Sparrow to Barbossa you are Bootstrap Bill Turner. A barnacle on the bottom of the ocean. You’re dead and just don’t know it.
White – (5-2)
how this team was allowed to come together is beyond me. Either DDP is a early round guy, or Jill is your early round girl. But you cant get both of them one high and one low… can you?. That’s just unfair. Its like being the your parents favorite child, getting all your candy and all your siblings candy. https://goo.gl/images/FfUq6F We all knew that this team was too good to be true…fairy tales don’t last forever…. This team looked unstoppable and unblemished until this week when DDP went down with a shoulder contusion. And the team kinda lost its way without him. The success of this team depends solely on whether DDP can return to man the reigns. This team is kinda like a mummy. Really scary, but kinda old, and starting to unravel. https://goo.gl/images/tTz6ds
on a scale of well put together and unraveling you’re. https://goo.gl/images/WU39Rv