Summer League 2012

Semi / Finals Results

Showkiller — Sat, 28 Jul 2012 14:44:32 +0000

And that’s a wrap boys and girls! Congrats to Silver for bringing home the goods in a great final against Purple. Red upsets Orange in Chump finals, and Maroon wins the kiddie pool.

Cheers to everyone playing and coming to watch. Hopefully we’ll see you in the fall!

Results:

Semi’s

Silver over Forest — 10-8
Purple over Vegas — 10-9
Orange over Sky Blue — ?-?
Red over White — ?-?
Royal over Black — ?-?

Finals

Silver over Purple — 10-9
Red over Orange — ?-?
Maroon over Navy — ?-?

Final Standings

1. Silver
2. Purple
3. Gold
3. Forest
5. Red
6. Orange
7. Sky Blue
7. White
9. Maroon
10. Navy
11. Royal
12. Black

Bracket

Basement Bracket Break Down

Showkiller — Thu, 26 Jul 2012 21:33:29 +0000

The Sour Age
Basement Bracket Break Down
July 26, 2012
By: Jack Skunk

The many problems with the basement teams are touch more profound than those of the chump bracket. We all knew that they teams were going to fail for quite some time, so instead of trying to pinpoint the exact moment of their collapse, let’s be positive and figure out what they could have done differently!

What could the Basement teams have done differently?
Maroon	The short answer: Stop living in the past. After coming off a Championship run from WL2012, it’s pretty obvious that the Great Horse was just phoning it in. To salvage this horrible, embarrassment of a season, he should have avoided Tim Sannes and Alison Stargel like the plague. He got all he could out of them last season, but in the summer, they reverted back to their natural state, in that they see league as something of a chore and just a touch better than your standard hospital pick up game. Between the two of them, they missed in the neighborhood of 18 regular season games! Allee may think the Lieutenant is the bees knees, but even he can’t coax her out on a happening Friday night! The key is that Greathouse was living in the past and so he, and he alone, doomed Maroon to mediocrity and failure.
Navy	The short answer: do a little research next time, and don’t think you’re going to win it all because you have 3 A-Teamers on the field. Josh Hurwitz as a rookie league captain had exactly one strategy: draft as many Florida A-Teamers as possible. The problem with that, though, is that he had no idea who anyone was after the 4^th pick. But not to worry! To compensate, Josh turned to Brophelia himself, and with no preparation or research, Lee Raney drafted the bottom of the roster. But of course, since Lee was not a captain, he had done no research and grabbed a number of players who couldn’t (or wouldn’t) show up for league. So- and this is a shock- Josh went on to lead his team to no fewer than 3 (or possibly 5) forfeits. It’s not Josh’s fault: he just figured that all he needed was himself, Derulo and Rob Brice, and then they could easily waltz in to the Champ bracket and win discs like it was Sectionals, 2010. Here’s some friendly advice, though: the next time you sit near Phil Nassoiy in the draft, you might want to try doing what he does, because you know something? What Phil does works.
Royal	The short answer: Don’t draft Tim Touchton’s team, and strap some training wheels on. You need them. Poor Pip Morris’ draft was just plain weird. I pointed out a while back that he drafted Tim Touchton’s team from last season, and I don’t really understand why. The power combo of Fletcher, Gardiner, Broboff and Touchton is super awesome, if the word “awesome” means that you’re destined for the 11/12 game. It seems to me that Pip, instead of trying to strike out on his own, should have looked to the past and pulled the trigger on TK; yes, he is crazy and he will tell you what to do, but he will also win you some games. Essentially, he’s like training wheels, and you Pip Morris, were not ready or able to take yours off. Instead, you fell into the trap of assuming that Allen Lu could put up swill and either Fletcher or Bowman or somebody else would reel in the slop. That could work if say, league was filled with 11 other teams who didn’t play defense, had the sensibilities of pick up, and were not run by captains who hate to lose.
Black	The short answer: If you want to be a captain, don’t go on vacation during the playoffs. Seriously. Of all the teams, I’m the most sad to see Dan Kahn’s Always Angry in the basement. On the whole, I thought he hit homeruns in the draft, with the likes of Daigle, Ragsdale, John Stabley, Cobelens, Stone and Waters all on the roster. They’re an amazing combination of huckers and cutters and all around experience. The problem though, is DK. For some bizarre reason, he opted to go on vacation during the playoffs. And, when you decide to go on vacation during the frickin’ playoffs, you send this very bad message to your team: “Hey guys, I know I drafted you and put you all on the same roster, but I have better things to do, so I’m not going to show up. I don’t care if you show or don’t show, because obviously, my actions say that I don’t give a flying flip about you or this team!” Now don’t get me wrong- DK is a fine captain when he’s there. When he’s not though, well, he is just terrible. Then again, it’s probably the fault of the organizers. They probably said, “Hey Dan! Want to captain?” And DK said, “I’d love to, but I’m going to be missing through the playoffs in July.” Wait, what’s that Mr. Czar? That didn’t happen? He never said he was going to be missing? Well, whatever. Never mind.

How the teams will finish:
Maroon	The Australian Strategy will finish in 10^th place. After losing in the Quarters, the Lieutenant’s only hope and dream was to not finish last, and luckily for him, Black made it easy by graciously forfeiting. On top of that, Josh Hurwitz will take great pleasure in dismantling Greathouse.
Navy	Bro Tip will win basement discs. Josh Hurwitz is tired of his leadership and drafting abilities being questioned by the likes of me, so winning discs in the basement will surely shut up all of his critics. Rob Brice will go hard, Kelsey will prove her superiority over Alison Stargel, and in the end, Navy can cheer “Suck it Greathouse” because that never gets old. Seriously, it doesn’t.
Royal	Unprotected Hucking is going to finish in 11^th place and feel rather pleased with themselves. Not finishing is last is, indeed, a very big deal. The only question is how will they do it? Will it be by forfeit or will it be because Black can field 5 players and forced to play down?
Black	Always Angry will finish in 12^th which is both a little sad and surprising. Weren’t Ragsdale and Khan on the Royal Book Club just yesterday, winning a championship? I actually can’t remember. But, as it is, DK went on vacation during the playoffs (literally) and nobody stepped in to fill the void. A competent captain present at the field- as it turns out- is rather important. At least you guys will have a legitimate reason to be pissed this time!

Chump Bracket

Showkiller — Tue, 24 Jul 2012 18:55:52 +0000

The Sour Age
Chump Bracket
July 24, 2012
By: Jack Skunk

Yesterday I broke down the champ bracket, and honest to goodness, that’s all that matters. And yet, last night as I was walking through the woods, I was left with one question: why did the other teams fail? So, let’s find out and answer some other filler questions along the way.

Why these teams failed:
Orange	Pulp Flicktion’s epic failure occurred because of one thing and one thing only: Captain Taylor tried to make the same old recipe with inferior ingredients. As I predicted before the draft and pointed out all season long, Mike was destined to try and rebuild DSoM, and who can blame him? It’s all he’s ever known and they came tantalizingly close to winning in the winter, so there’s no shame. In the end though, Orange just couldn’t stand up to Silver’s withering firepower. The Flicktion just didn’t have enough big dogs, hence why they were beaten to a Pulp. The rest of league has caught up to Zach; he hasn’t been to the promised land since the Kevin Keating era and he’s been retired for 2 years now. Think about it.
White	Frosted Flick’s failure was one of hubris and all of the fault lies with Matt Yozgat. He believed that he could be a champion without his mentor, his muse, his Moses. By passing up Ted Kubisek 4 times, Matt doomed his team. Picture this: TK has the disc and he puts it high and floaty to The Future of Ultimate for the goal. Who can stop that? Yes, you are correct: nobody. Matt though- understandably- wanted to prove that he could thrive outside of TK’s overbearing shadow. How’d that work out for you, son?
Red	Hammers & Sickles inability to crack the championship bracket is a little more nuanced that White or Orange. Scott made the right choices and built a balanced team, but inexperience and bad luck cost him. First, taking Ley was a mistake—never trust a kid from Tampa; they’ve got Bulge blood in their veins which makes them a dicey pick at best- just ask TJ about that. Next, he snagged Evan Thatcher. Evan is a fantastic player, but he ALWAYS misses key playoff games- for example, I don’t think he’s ever made it to the Quarters. And finally, I just don’t think that Scotty “Choo Choo” Tran was willing to go big enough. After making a basement run last season (with big gambles, multiple forfeits, etc.) the riverboat gambler tightened up and opted for mediocrity. Scott over performed with Red, but let me be crystal clear: Hammers & Sickles was never relevant.
Sky Blue	Matt Inman’s Skydols truly were false, and of all the teams, their failure was the most basic, in that their defense was just terrible. Matt gave the keys to his number one draft pick: Kevin Switzer. And Switzer, if you didn’t know, loves to poach almost as much as he loves to throw the disc hard and far. League has evolved well beyond “6 under, 1 back”- particularly against a team like Forest. What is interesting though, is that Carolina did have the tools to make a legitimate run. Kelly, Speedy and McCall were superior pickups, and the women here could easily hold their own. The problem though, is that when their leader poaches, the team will inevitably go slack from either frustration or from the assumption that the poacher will make a play. And when that happens, you get to scrap for doggie discs.

What these teams should be proud of:
Orange	Pulp Flicktion made a good run and might have cracked the finals against Purple or Vegas or possibly even Forest. Plus, for the first time in the history of douchbaggeriness, DSoM 3 was not evil. I don’t know how Taylor accomplished this, but he did, so I give him a tip of the hat.
White	Frosted Flicks flirted with disaster all season long- but somehow against all odds, Matt Yozgat was able to keep things together. In the face of dissention, frustration, and the clear and present danger of implosion, the Flicks kept it together and made a respectable playoff run. So, congratulations for not falling apart and disintegrating. You exist, and that’s awesome.
Red	Hammers and Sickles over performed. They played Purple close and came dangerously close to breaking the championship bracket without their 1 or 2 pick. Moxy and the legendary fury of Scotty Hopkins can take a team far.
Sky Blue	The Idols turned around a losing season and reeled off an impressive late season five game winning streak. Matt Inman’s presence on the battle field was critical; either as a player or calming influence or all around nice guy, he brought his team from the bottom to the middle, and that’s something.

How the Chump Bracket will play out:
Orange	Pulp Flicktion will finish in 6^th. After dispatching a feisty Carolina squad, they’ll fall in the Chump Finals- bitter that they missed the real finals, bitter that they didn’t win discs, bitter that league is so frickin’ stupid. Best case: Winning it all- Orange really is kind of good.
White	Frosted Flicks will win Chump discs and finish in 5^th. The key will be the athleticism of Stuart and Gettino, and reasonable work from the likes of Nelen and Yozgat. Worst case: get stunned and lose to Red.
Red	Hammers and Sickles will finish tied for 7^th. Even with a full cupboard (Thatcher, Vogt, etc), Scott Tran’s crew just won’t have an answer for the speed and height of White. It’ll be close, but in the end, Scott Tran will rush to the front of the line. Best Case: Beat White, but lose in the finals and finish in 6^th.
Sky Blue	False Skydols will finish in 7^th. Pulp Fliction’s Zone will be too much, and unguarded Pulp players will easily move the disc up and down the field. As for Zach, he will joyously chew up the deep ball. Best case: Finish in 7^th. There is no chance that Carolina can survive Orange’s onslaught.

Tomorrow or Thursday, I’ll deal with the basement dwellers. I’m pretty sure there’s nothing to report. Still, perhaps I’ll be inspired by another midnight walk in the woods…

Champ Bracket Break Down

Showkiller — Mon, 23 Jul 2012 17:15:04 +0000

The Sour Age
Champ Bracket Break Down
July 23, 2012
By: Jack Skunk

So I kind of took last week off, but I did it for three reasons: first, I got bored pointing out the obvious (like Navy being forfeit prone, like Carolina being huck happy, and Orange being a tired, failed retread). Second, a ton of players were going to be missing (like all of Black and most of the ladies). And third, I’ve been used in the past by captains to report “credible insider information” (like absences and injuries) that (against all hopes!) do not come true. But now that we’re in the homestretch, I am back, and today, I’m going to break down the Champ bracket so that you can know all that you need to know.

How did they get here?
Forest	So Fresh & So Green, Green made it to the championship bracket based on one name, and one name alone: Phil “The Showkiller” Nassoiy. Tim Darnell for the first time ever actually showed up to play, Sara Puyana was barely late, Michelle Fusting rearranged her schedule the second Phil picked her up, and due to Phil’s influence, even Brandon Smock has almost been likable. Basically, this is a good team with good attendance and they’ve got an outstanding shot.
Purple	The Purpitrators made it to the champ bracket on a wing and a prayer. With fragile Campbell hurt and Matt Chandler gainfully employed, against all hopes, team Terza posted one of the best records in league. The key has been the boys and cougars—Terza, Terza, Wachob, and Boggs have been among the most athletic all season, and with the likes of JoJo and Cathy playing competent, quality disc, Purple continues to be a force to be reckoned with.
Vegas	WHAC-SAC has been the most conventional team in all of league: Dan DePaul + speed (Forrestel, Nwokolo) + experienced workers (Brasher, Burtt) gave Chris Falk his first winning season in like… forever. Vegas- arguably- had the toughest game to make the Champ bracket, and they did it easily by brushing aside a very dangerous and deep White team.
Silver	AMBF 3 may very well be the deepest and most skilled team in all of league. The college guys Jersey, LeMay, Dahl, and Forehand are all top notch. TK (though certifiably insane) was taken insanely late, while the girls (Branyon, Gross, Durham) are nothing short of spectacular. The fact of the matter though, is that they know they’re the gold standard of league and haven’t had to work all that hard. Remember that annoying guy who never went to class, never studied or did his homework, but aced every exam? That’s these guys.

Why we want them to win:
Forest	So Fresh has been a nice, friendly team all season. Vannoy is as cool as they come while Cody Johns hasn’t been around (hence the lack of obnoxiousness). I suspect if the entire gang shows up on Friday, that could all change. As we learned from college ultimate, it’s easy to be spirited when you’re crushing your opposition or the game doesn’t matter.
Purple	Look, Purple has gotten here the hard way- if they win it, that’s going to go down in history as one of the most gutsy, against the odds championship of all times.
Vegas	The second Chris Falk was given another team, the assumptions were that he’d be at the bottom, but that just didn’t happen. Homework, with the addition of some skill players does go far. On top of that, the nice thing with Falk is that he has no delusions about himself as a captain or a player- he’ll give all the credit to his boys and girls and be thankful to hoist the trophy.
Silver	Look, league has a record of the “best” team not winning it, and if Silver gets the win, they’ll be the first “best” to win it all since Whiskey Disc (Summer, 2010). You have to respect the athleticism and experience here. And, on a personal note, I just like that Colin Forehand guy a lot. Who can’t enjoy it if he gets a championship?

Two reasons why we don’t want them to win:
Forest	The Showkiller has won 2 summers in a row and NOBODY wants to see him get a third summer and fourth total championship; he’s the human embodiment of the Yankees and the Patriots—he’s the Yankiots. Next, can you imagine how insufferable the winners on this roster will be? For example, Smock will blog about it- can’t wait for all of those Facebook status updates- while Cody Johns will feel totally justified for “spiking” as Phil helplessly shrugs.
Purple	It just doesn’t feel like Purple deserves it. Sure, they’ve had a good season and have done it the hard way, but my sense is that they’re a fraud, so that even if they do win it, it’ll feel like the time Kek’s Silver team blew a 4 point lead and handed the championship to Jim Martinez- congrats if they do win win, but will they deserve it? I think not. Next, Doug Terza has officially lost his soul. Doug- by all accounts- used to be a lovable, nice, ethical ultimate player. Now though, he has embraced the UF-A style of “whatever it takes” which is kind of sad. I promise, Doug, it’s not jealousy; instead, this is pity and if you get a championship, you’ll be convinced that this is the way to live life. Change back before it’s too late!
Vegas	Try these words on for size: “Chris Falk, Championship Captain.” It doesn’t feel right, does it? It’s like finger nails on a chalkboard or biting into a popsicle. It’s nothing personal, but rabbits aren’t supposed to be the king of the jungle. Next, consider how much fun it will be to hear the players on Vegas- all of them- complain about the loss. “They cheated,” “That was a bullshit foul call,” “The other team should be banned,” are all phrases I guarantee that will come out of the WHAC-SAC camp. The only thing I love more than a sad loser is a grumpy one.
Silver	My favorite storyline since 2007 has been that of Moses: he leads his people close to the promised land, but just can’t get there. If this is the season that it happens, then I’m going to be disappointed, since failure here will make it hilarious. It just feels like Silver hasn’t worked very hard this season, and if they do win it, it’s not because of hard fought come backs, inspirational half-time speeches or good strategy; instead, it’s because Nick McGrane had a fantastic draft, took all of his friends (again) and walked away victorious by exerting almost no effort.

Skunk’s Prediction On how they finish:
Forest	Forest will finish in 1^st. Not only is Phil the best captain, he knows how to function in close games, and his team will be ready and excited to play. So Fresh has no illusions: they have to play well and they have to win and there’s not going to be a single easy game on Friday. Worst case, they’ll finish in 2^nd, and lose only because they were so beat up in the Semis game- like what happened in Winter League 2010.
Purple	Finish tied for 3^rd; Purple just doesn’t have the depth or firepower to get through Vegas. Luckily though, it looks like the three chemistry killers will be absent, which both saves and dooms this squad. Best case: 2^nd place if (and only if) they have the game of their life in the Semis. After that though, Purple will have no gas left in the tank.
Vegas	Finish in 2^nd. Vegas should be able to dispatch Purple with ease. The key will be disc control and not giving up easy goals. After that, Vegas will put in a respectable showing against either Forest or Silver before falling. Best case: Finish in 2^nd. Let me be perfectly clear: WHAC-SAC is not good enough to win league. Sorry Charlie.
Silver	Silver will finish tied for 3^rd. Unfortunately, they doomed themselves by blowing off the Vegas game. Vegas (smartly!) got out of Forest’s way, and so the Semis will probably be the “true” championship game. The two things that will hold Silver back is that they haven’t been tested yet (they never “tried” in a game they lost) and once the pressure gets high, they’ll crack and turn in on themselves. Best case: If Silver can get and maintain the lead against Forest, then they’ll finish in 1^st. The finals game for either Forest or Silver will be an afterthought.

Tomorrow or Wednesday, I’ll write some stuff about the irrelevant teams. Perhaps I’ll answer the question on why they failed… Until next time!

Quarters Results / Captain Reports / Playoff picture

Showkiller — Sat, 21 Jul 2012 15:40:29 +0000

For those not there here’s a brief summary: Silver mowed the grass with Orange, Vegas went on an 8 -1 roll to finish off White, and Forest and Purple squeek by.

Results:

A Bracket:

Forest over Sky Blue — 15-11
Purple over Red — 14-13
Vegas over White — 15-9
Silver over Orange — 15-10

Basement Bracket:

Maroon over Black — forfeit
Navy over Royal — 13-12

Playoff picture:

Wildcard Results / Captains Reports / Playoff Picture

Showkiller — Sat, 14 Jul 2012 14:00:04 +0000

Nothing too exciting yesterday… Navy fielded their dream team and still came up short. Vegas over Silver in the 3rd place seed game, and Forest over Purple on universe. Other than that everything went as expected.

Wildcard Results:

Orange over Navy — 15-11

White over Black — ?-?

Red over Maroon — ?-?

Sky Blue over Royal — 15-5

Forest over Purple — 15-14

Vegas over Silver — 15-5

Playoff picture:

Report Cards!

Showkiller — Wed, 11 Jul 2012 17:41:16 +0000

The Sour Age
Report Cards
July 11, 2012
By: Jack Skunk

The moment we’ve all been waiting for has arrived. Now take these home to your parents and have them sign the back. Here it is:

Team: Frosted Flicks (White)
Subject	Grade	Comments
Name	C+	It’s pretty evident that Yozzie is a one-trick pony in the naming department: Throw type + pun (or some other variable)= awesomeness. I’ve seen better and worse, which should explain my response of: “meh.”
Attendance	A	The troops get to the field.
Offense	B	Good athleticism and a good receiving corps (Stuart, Gettino) makes this team a nightmare to stop; Kevin Switzer on this team would virtually guarantee a championship. Unfortunately though, there just aren’t that many good shooters here. Andrew Nelen and Matt Yozgat? I don’t think so.
Defense	A+	Frosted Flicks probably has the best defensive team in league: Duckett will shut down anyone, Stuart owns the sky, which always allows players like Reed Daines and Patrick Gettino to have favorable matchups. My only concern is Tali’s slow recovery: until she can get into the line up, their women are in danger of getting exploited.
Character	D	It was said of Caligula that the world would never have a better slave or a worse master, and for some odd reason, that reminds me of White. When they lose, it’s the end of the world; when they win, they’re the best team in all of creation. If any squad could be diagnosed as bi-polar, it’s these guys. So, when the pressure gets a touch too high, White won’t crack- they’ll shatter.
Spirit	B+	Nelen seems to have reined in his antics, and so I salute him for it. Can people change? I guess so, and that disappoints me.
Chemistry	F	Frosted Flicks pretty much hates itself, which is not conducive to playing well together. Just throw the disc to Nick and finish the game as quickly as possible.
Best/Worst they can hope for:	Best: Get to the Chump bracket and win discs.Worst: Get ousted by Black and win discs in the basement. Oh, the shame.

Team: Pulp Flicktion (Orange)
Subject	Grade	Comments
Name	A	I like it; Mr. Taylor did a fine job of taking a cultural touchstone and blending it perfectly with his team name. It’s sort of like what Yozzie did, only clever.
Attendance	A-	Missing key players at different times, but still very good attendance.
Offense	A	Pulp Flicktion is a very balanced team. Alicia and Christina both have speed and excellent hands, Dan Wilson is fine as a reset, while the likes of Tom, Sean and Will can cut or work and safely move the disc.
Defense	D+	Yes: you run the clam and when KJ terrifies some new girl with the disc, you get turns. But listen to me: league has gotten more sophisticated. As a matter of fact, I’m convinced that the clam is obsolete (even in bad weather) and downright stupid with no wind or rain. Plus, in transition D, everyone is so used to having somebody “in back” that the entire team gets lazy and doesn’t contest underneath passes. I know “the clam” used to inspire fear, but now it doesn’t. Let it go. Put it in the closet, and just bring it out on special occasions.
Character	B+	Pulp Flicktion is pretty tough. Their players will fight to the end and none of them is looking to win a popularity contest. But let’s be clear: Pulp Flicktion expects to either do well in the Chump bracket or lose early in the A; Dark Side of Maroon Part 3 realizes that they’re just not good enough- so as long as they don’t finish in the basement, Mike Taylor can declare victory.
Spirit	A	Normally, it’s fun to rip DSoM3 for spirit, but they’ve been quite honorable all season. All credit goes to Captain Taylor.
Chemistry	A	This tired retread does know how to function as a team, with the new ones being plugged in as needed. Don’t question authority: just do your job, and that actually works.
Best/Worst they can hope for:	Best: Lose in the Semis of the Championship Bracket.Worst: Lose in the finals of the Chump Bracket. Sorry Orange: you should stop fantasizing about eternal league glory. It’s not going to happen.

Team: Purpitrators (Purple)
Subject	Grade	Comments
Name	A	If another team had chosen this name, I think they’d get a C- primarily because the phrase, “Eh, whatever” pops into my head upon seeing it. However, since this is for Team Terza- the Hardy Boys or perhaps even the squeaky clean Venture Brothers of league- I like it. It’s ironic and I wonder if either Matt or Doug get that. My guess is that they don’t.
Attendance	D-	Purple has been very thin for the past couple of weeks. You better tighten up boys, or you’re going to win chump discs.
Offense	B+	Purple definitely has a good shot of winning all of league, and it has to do with their youth and speediness. The Terzas, Boggs and Bennet all have good hands and reasonable throws. This, in addition to their stable of cougars (Jojo, Cathy, Clea) means that they’ll be able to reset and steadily move the disc. My main knock though, is that Purple isn’t super deep with handlers or rippers.
Defense	A	I’m not going to spend a lot of time here, but it’s that whole athleticism thing again: they’re fast, they’ll go horizontal, and if Purple runs a zone, it’s only because they’re toying with you or don’t have enough players on the field.
Character	A+	Purple could have very easily folded under the reality of not having Washington, Chandler or Campbell for most of the season. Instead, those that remained stepped up and won nine games. The only question now, though, is what will happen when those three chemistry-killers take the field?
Spirit	A	A fine and friendly team. No complaints.
Chemistry	A or F	Team Terza has been great all season, but let’s see how they function when the three horsemen of the chemistry apocalypse finally start fighting for playing time. Good luck with that.
Best/Worst they can hope for:	Best: Win everything (with or without the chemistry killers).Worst: Have Aaron, Phil and Matt take the field and lose out, with endless bitching from those three. That’ll truly make for a depressing ending.

Team: Bro Tip (Navy)
Subject	Grade	Comments
Name	F	Look, I think Brodie Smith is a really nice guy, but it’s time for the college boys to let go and move on. At this point, I can imagine Josh or Derulo calling up Brodie and saying, “Hey! I got an A+ on my test!” And in reply, Mr. Smith asks, “How did you get my number? Stop calling me.” And look- whether it’s hero worship or ironic hero worship, it matters not: it all looks sycophantic to me.
Attendance	F	Mulitple forfeits and repeatedly short staffed for games. It’s either poor luck, poor leadership or indifference on the part of the players.
Offense	D	I think one of the most effective handler pairs out there is the Josh/Jason duo, particularly with Fischer and Plicque in support. The problem though- obviously- is that Navy has been little more than a pickup team all season; a bad hatter team that’s met for the first time 5 minutes ago. The good news is that there is potential. The bad news, though, is that they’ll never reach it.
Defense	F-	A poor grade here isn’t exactly Navy’s fault. The problem is that it’s hard to get stops if you don’t have enough players on the field. Now look: if Sockie and Viars had some support, then they’d absolutely rack up some Ds. As it is though, nobody can stop anybody, and that’s a little sad.
Character	F-	Playing ultimate is hard, we’re going to lose, I don’t want to go to the field, Rob Brice is still hurt, I can’t do it, I quit, I don’t want to try, it’s not my fault… Ladies and gentlemen: this is Bro Tip. They may not say that out loud, but their actions scream it.
Spirit	A+	A team that never shows up is a very friendly team!
Chemistry	A+	In theory, they love playing together when they bother to actually play. I’ve said my peace, so I’ll move on.
Best/Worst they can hope for:	Best: Show up, get to the field and not finish last in league.Worst: Finish in dead last and to do it via forfeit.

Team: AMBF <3 (Silver)
Subject	Grade	Comments
Name	F	I’ve got to be honest Nick McGrane: You’re boring me. Please move on.
Attendance	C+	Luckily, since everyone on the team leaves together, they all seem to make it to the field. Silver though, has been thin about half the season.
Offense	A+	Offensively, Silver is the best team in league. Forehand is the foundation, while Jersey, Zilla and Dahl can all help work as needed. Mix in some quality ladies (Branyon, Gross, Durham) and a little craziness (Moses, Nick) and the result is a dynamic, versatile team that may be unstoppable.
Defense	B	The biggest problem with Silver’s defense is that they’re not on the same page, nor will they ever be. This, of course, is due to a clash of philosophies and sanity: Moses- like a dogmatic Baptist minister in the Congo- is busily trying to convert everyone to his way of thinking, while Nick is only vaguely aware of what’s going on. In addition to that, AMBF is college heavy, so they have their system and are set. The result is that we have a lot of outstanding physical talent that can never function as one single unit, and that just might cost them in a high stakes playoff game.
Character	I	I suspect that Silver hasn’t really been tested yet, in that when they were short on players, the team just didn’t care. And when they had everyone (or at least enough to win) they went out and won. Therefore, they get an “Incomplete.” It’s not their fault, I just don’t know how they’ll respond to adversity.
Spirit	B+	A nice team that has always had the potential to explode but hasn’t. I think everyone just chills out in the summer.
Chemistry	B-	Silver has been fine for most of the season, but at some point, they will get tested, and I suspect their flow will get disrupted, particularly if they find themselves with hard-cap nipping at their heels.
Best/Worst they can hope for:	Best: Win everything, preferably with a come from behind win as everyone in league watches and cheers them on.Worst: Get upended in the Champ Semis by an inferior squad due to a combination of mistakes, frustration and chemistry issues.

Team: Unprotected Hucking (Royal)
Subject	Grade	Comments
Name	B	Here’s the thing- the name itself doesn’t really float my boat and yet it is a little amusing. It’s dirty in an old-school ultimate kind of way and brings to mind old-timey names like UFUCT, Jaxonjill, and Holes and Poles. So I give you my personal nod of approval even though it’s not my thing.
Attendance	A	Pip has had no forfeits and he always seems to have enough subs. Royal’s losses have nothing to do with missing players.
Offense	C-	Fletcher is fast, Lu is an excellent worker, while Sarah and Lisa are both extremely solid cutters. The problem though, is that Royal is outclassed in most of their matchups or their players have a tendency to make poor throws or poor decisions or poor throws that are poor decision.
Defense	C+	The defense of Royal isn’t terrible. Gardiner (assuming she can get out of her wheelchair) can play her opponents tight; if Touchton decides to run hard, he can shutdown the subpar and scrub players on the other line. The fact of the matter though, is that other team offenses are just better.
Character	B+	Mentally, I suspect that Royal is pretty tough. They play every game pretty hard and go down swinging. Royal isn’t the toughest team, but they’re not quitters—though we all know they’ve got an excuse, which is never charming.
Spirit	D	Yeah- that game against Vegas will always be remembered; maybe Bowman was innocent, but then again, maybe he wasn’t. As it is though, you’re grade has gone up substantially in this category, so keep up the “fails to meet expectations” work.
Chemistry	C+	The players know their roles, but this is anything other than a well-oiled machine. It’s like they’re clumps of different teams that have grouped together- like a blood clot.
Best/Worst they can hope for:	Best: Make the quarters, and then lose out, feeling proud that they made the B Bracket.Worst: Lose in the Wildcard and then win in the 11/12 game. Still, as long as you’re not last, you’re good to go!

Team: So Fresh & So Green, Green
Subject	Grade	Comments
Name	B-	Forest’s name (on general principle) doesn’t bother me. Taking an IPA and applying it to your team is all perfectly reasonable. My main beef has been having to type the “&” sign. I’m making a ruling here: no more “&” or of the like in a team name with more than 10 characters.
Attendance	A	Has a Showkiller team ever not had excellent attendance?
Offense	A	There’s nothing flashy about Forest: as long as Vannoy is healthy and the Showkiller can get off uncontested backhands, then So Fresh will be a very difficult team to stop. And, several of their great players cannot be overlooked, including Tim Darnell. As for their women, they probably have two of the best in all of league in the form of Sara Puyana and Michelle Fusting.
Defense	B+	I actually wanted to give SF&SG,G an A+ for a few reasons: first, Smock, Cody Johns and Calvin can shut down virtually anyone- which makes Man-D the defense of choice. Second, their ladies (particularly Susie Han) can all get favorable matchups. And third, the Showkiller is not afraid to attack and switch up his defenses early and often- a trick he perfected back in his Wailers days. They lose a letter though, because of Jim Martinez. If he’s on the field, he will do his own thing, which is somewhere between brilliant and frustrating.
Character	A	Like always, the Showkiller’s air of confidence has infected the team. They expect to win, even if they’re down, and that’s good for at least 2 come from behind Universe wins. Watch out league: the boys (and girls) of summer are coming for you.
Spirit	A	Who can be mad at a Showkiller team? Not me! But, when you win handily, it’s hard to be grumpy.
Chemistry	A	I get SO BORED writing about this team: yeah, they play wonderfully awesome together. YAWN. I suspect that after every score, Hardaman and Smock both talk in Phil’s ear. On one side, one says, “Did you see my goal?” And on the other, “Did you see my D?” “I’m awesome, right?” “I have a good mark, don’t I?” No wonder Philly needs a beer at the end of the night.
Best/Worst they can hope for:	Best: Winning it all and giving the Showkiller his 3^rd SL championship and his 4^thoverall as a captain.Worst: Not winning it all; in the rarified air of champions, the margin for error is razor thin. No pressure!

Team: What Happens at Citizens, Stays at Citizens (Vegas Gold)
Subject	Grade	Comments
Name	A+	This is a very good name for two reasons. First, it’s a reference to its color without being explicit; and second, WHAC-SAC is an awesome acronym. Not only is it easy to remember, but it sounds a little like you’re getting kicked in the nuts which is always funny.
Attendance	A	Lots of subs week in and week out, even if a few blue chips do miss on occasion.
Offense	A-	WHAC-SAC is rock solid from top to bottom. In support of Dan, there are a slew of great cutters and workers, including Brasher, Jen Higgins and Colby Burtt. I don’t think that Vegas has the firepower to win a championship, but they might be good enough to get into the top 4.
Defense	A-	The alpha and the omega of all defense is speed, and Vegas has it. Jayike Nwokolo and Shane Forrestel are exceptionally fast closers, while the likes of Colby and Dan Barrow are both opportunistic poachers. Make no mistake: I don’t expect Vegas to win it all, but then again, they just might.
Character	A-	Do you know who knew that Vegas was going to beat Orange on Universe? Me. And the reason is, is that Vegas is pretty tough, which is enough to guarantee them a bid to the Quarters. After that though, all bets are off.
Spirit	C	Ok, about that Royal game… you guys didn’t handle that in as spirited a fashion as you could have. Frankly, I was a little disappointed in WHAC-SAC.. All of you.
Chemistry	A	Vegas’ chemistry has been top notch. The gatekeeper is the Danimal. As long as the disc flows through him, WHAC-SAC moves efficiently.
Best/Worst they can hope for:	Best: Making the finals and losing close.Worst: Losing in the Quarters and going to the chump bracket. Sure, discs are discs, but after the season WHAC-SAC has had, they need to get to the dance or the season is a waste.

Team: False Skydols (Carolina)
Subject	Grade	Comments
Name	F	Let’s be clear: this name means pretty much nothing other than the word “sky” being shoehorned in to a bad pun. Is this a religious reference? Or is it a reference to a popular TV talent show? Or- and this could make the name awesome- is it grim commentary on the moral decay of America by worshipping at the altar of wealth and fame? Something tells me, though, that nobody on Carolina is smart enough to have actually meant that, hence your grade.
Attendance	D	So, the Skydols have been hot for the last two weeks because players are at the field. You have to remember though, that May and June are also a part of summer league, and then they barely had anyone.
Offense	B+	There’s definitely a quiet degree of competence here. Corey McCall is an effective and crucial cog in the machinery. Inman is fast, Langebrake can cut and catch, while Parker Kelly and Wes Campbell are both experienced middle managers who can get open and keep the disc alive. Like every team he’s been on for like- I dunno, forever- the fortunes of Carolina will rise or fall with Kevin Switzer’s arm. Lately, he’s been hot, so Carolina just might be the one team no top 4 wants to face in the quarters.
Defense	D	There’s too much poaching, and yes, I’m looking at you Kevin Switzer. Ok, if the disc goes high and you have the opportunity to jump for it in the end zone, I have faith that you’ll be the one pulling it down. But- if there is a player completely uncovered in the middle of the field, everyone knows that that is your guy. “Hoping the other team drops it,” is not a valid defense. Come on, Inman: coach him up!
Character	B	It’s kind of hard to judge this one; The False Skydols aren’t “soft” per se, but they know they’re not good enough to actually compete on a level playing field. They’re comfortable finishing in either the champ or chump, and there’s nothing wrong with that.
Spirit	B	You all seem to be nice enough. I can’t think of anything you’ve done that’s good or bad in this department other than making opponents play down, but that’s not perfectly reasonable, if unspirited.
Chemistry	C	I know I said this, but it depends on Switzer. If he’s on, then their chemistry is great. If not, then they’ll stutter, start, and stop as rusty gears grind together. So, just to play it safe, I’ll split the difference.
Best/Worst they can hope for:	Best: Get to the Quarters and lose in an exceptionally close game, before possibly going on to win chump discs.Worst: Getting knocked out by Royal and then winning basement discs.

Team: Hammers & Sickles (Red)
Subject	Grade	Comments
Name	A++	I love it. For some reason, the mixing of communism and ultimate strikes me as being endlessly hilarious. It’s perfect for the team color, which in the end makes this my most favorite favorite team name of the last decade. Well done, Mr. Scott Tran. Well done.
Attendance	B+	I’m not positive that Red (Bobby Ley notwithstanding) has ever had a complete squad. And yet- unlike last season- Scott Tran figured out how to not forfeit. Congratulations for achieving the minimal levels of captaining competency.
Offense	B	Scott Tran’s Hammer & Sickles has grossly over performed all season long. The engine of this machine is held together by shoestring and bubblegum, and somehow, they seem to be dangerous week in and week out. Evan Thatcher has stepped up, Scotty Hopkins is back, and Matt Rippe continues to impress. Really though, I think Red’s biggest advantage are the ladies. Momo and Erica on the same line make matchups (to say the least) difficult.
Defense	B	Red’s defense is solid. Kevin Ekkebus, for example, is one of the few guys who can actually run a smart, effective poach while Anthony Vogt is one of the better defenders in all of league. Against all but the best offenses, H&S will get a reasonable number of take aways.
Character	A	H&S might have whined (rightfully so) about the loss of their one pick, but they haven’t laid down to anyone. They’re a team that comes out prepared to take a beating, but sometimes comes out on top. Character isn’t winning because you’re obviously the superior team- instead, it’s not being afraid or backing down from a fight, and I like that.
Spirit	A+	This is an extremely spirited team, with Evan Thatcher setting the tone. I will always associate the phrase, “Hey look, that’s not legal.. Wait, are you serious? Ok, whatever. I don’t care.” Plus, they’re one of the few teams who embraced sportsmanship and don’t make other teams play down to gain an advantage.
Chemistry	B-	With so many players coming and going all season, Red’s chemistry has been affected. It’s not bad, but the team seems to be significantly different each and every week.
Best/Worst they can hope for:	Best: Getting to the B-Bracket and maybe making the Chump finals before losing in a blowout.Worst: Losing to Maroon and making the Basement finals.

Team: The Australian Strategy (Maroon)
Subject	Grade	Comments
Name	B	I’m a big fan of accents particularly the Australian accent so I want to give you an A, but I still have no earthly idea what your name is referring to so I dock you a letter grade on that. Crikey!
Attendance	C	Greathorse did what every Captain wants which is to re-draft the team that took him from worst to first. However, I imagine the days Sannes missed and the days Alle has been absent have eaten a hole in Greathouse this season. Still his team never forfeited! cough-Kelsey-cough
Offense	B+	Look this team is full of offensive superstars. Who can stop Tim Sannes from breaking the mark?, who can shut down Alle? who can keep Travis Lynch from going up line? The answer to all these is no one.
Defense	D	If there is an area where this team struggles it’s defense. They can put up the points with the best of them, but when they don’t have the ball it’s like the NBA they can’t stop anyone. Still guys like Austin Dill and David Sutton have come a long way.
Character	C+	This team just isn’t the team we all thought they were going to be. The talent is there, the spirit is there, but they all just seem fine knowing they won last league so who cares lets have a beer.
Spirit	B	We’re talking about Greathouse so I knock a letter grade off for all of humanity. If I gave them an ‘A’ then we all have no hope.
Chemistry	F	I just don’t know how to explain all the losses so I’m gonna just put it here. I am still bothered by an 8 loss season for you guys. That being said we all remember last league and the miracle on field 3. So maybe we’re all just fools for believing this team has no shot.
Best/Worst they can hope for:	Best: Lighting strikes twice in back to back season and Greathouse repeats? Maybe? Chump bracket is where G-hizzle should aim for.Worst: Lose to Red in back to back weeks and earn a first in line for the kegger during the finals. At least there is beer left and it’s cold.

Team: Always Angry (Black)
Subject	Grade	Comments
Name	B+	The fact of the matter is that “Always Angry” is not that interesting or brilliant of a name. But, because DK chose the name based on a preview article I wrote back in May, he gets a huge bump. What can I say: as a narcissist, I respect narcissistic captains.
Attendance	B	Always Angry always has seven on the line- even if the seven aren’t the top.
Offense	B	I know that Always Angry has a terrible record, but Dan Kahn did have a heck of a draft offensively. TJ is the epitome of an unselfish cutter/handler, Andrew Ragsdale (in between awful puns) will get open, while Chris Pregony is one of the best players you’ve never heard of. Mix this in with some hucks, and suddenly, you have a ball game.
Defense	B	Always Angry may have the best zone in league. Their trap no-dump is quite effective, particularly with Max parked at deep deep and the likes of Cobelens and McCourt up front. I’m probably in the minority, but I suspect they’ve got about a 50/50 shot of making the quarters.
Character	B+	Black is respectable in this category, and their close losses speak for that; my pronouncements of their doom- though technically right- has not deterred them in the least.
Spirit	D+	Yeah, you’ve embraced that “Always Angry” theme just a bit too tightly. When you’re really pissed, it’s not funny anymore- instead it comes off as childish and petty. But maybe you’re just joking.
Chemistry	A	Outwardly, Black may be angry. Internally though, they’re fine. Interestingly enough, Black is the polar opposite of White as far as Spirit/Chemistry goes. Weird, right?
Best/Worst they can hope for:	Best: Scoring a stunning upset against White and then moving on to lose out. There’s nothing wrong with 7^thplace.Worst: Falling apart and winding up in the 11/12 game, but winning.

Week 7 Results / Captains Reports / Playoff Picture

Showkiller — Sat, 07 Jul 2012 13:59:49 +0000

Well that’s it boys and girls. The regular season is over. Some good, some bad, and some surprises!

Purple is still on top of the mountain.

Results

Game 1:

Vegas over Orange — 10-9
White over Navy — 11-2
Forest over Black — 11-4??
Silver over Royal — 11-3
Red over Purple — 11-1
Carolina over Maroon — 11-6

Game 2:

White over Black — 11-10
Purple over Navy — 9-8
Carolina over Royal — 11-6
Silver over Vegas — 10-9
Forest over Orange — 11-9
Maroon over Red — 8-7

Standings:

Rank	Team	Record	Win %	Pt Diff	Tie Breaks
1	Purpitrators (Purple)	9-2	82%	+22	W Forest
2	So Fresh & So Green Green (Forest)	9-2	82%	+29	L Purple
3	AMBF <3 (Silver)	8-3	73%	+30	W Vegas
4	WHAC SAC (Vegas)	8-3	73%	+31	L Silver
5	Pulp Flicktion (Orange)	7-4	64%	+31
6	Frosted Flicks (White)	6-5	55%	-1
7	Hammer and Sickles (Red)	5-6	45%	+6
8	False Skydols (Sky Blue)	4-7	27%	-22	W Royal
9	Unprotected Hucking (Royal)	4-7	45%	-29	L Sky Blue
10	The Australian Strategy (Maroon)	3-8	27%	-21
11	Always Angry (Black)	2-9	18%	-24
12	Bro Tip (Navy)	1-10	9%	-70

Playoff picture:

Predictions for Game 11

Showkiller — Fri, 06 Jul 2012 17:38:41 +0000

The Sour Age
Predictions for Game 11
July 6, 2012
By: Jack Skunk

Here are the predictions for the last game of the regular season. Some quick notes: Forest, Vegas, Orange and Silver all need to win. Navy needs one win to have a shot at escaping the 12 seed, while everyone else is in the blender and God only knows what will come out when we pour this blend into the glass. Cheers!

Always Angry captain Dan Kahn

F1: Black-White

Let’s be honest: the Frosted Flicks (White) have the inside track. Their athleticism alone (Kirchman, Lemons, Gettino, etc.) should be more than enough to overwhelm Always Angry (Black). What makes matters even worse for Black is that their beloved huck game from circa 1982 will be a liability since the Flicks are younger and faster in virtually every single spot. The key, then, is going to be discipline and Kate Cobelens. She’s going to have to be the bumblebee, since no lady on White can stop her. If that happens, then Captain Yozgat will probably consult his captain’s book, fall into the trap of running a zone, and then get picked apart by Andrew and Max. But, like I always say, if a game plan has too many parts, it’s doomed to failure. Frosted Flicks by 3.

F2: Purple-Navy

The best of league is going against the worst in this one, so I feel bad for wasting ink. Besides, all of the Purple forfeits this season can’t be Josh’s fault. After all, even the Showkiller has had a few, right? What? He hasn’t, and he’s been running teams since 2008? Well, Greathouse must have had some, especially in 2011 when he did so terribly? What? No? Not even one? Hm. Must be bad luck, then. Actually, it really may not be Josh’s fault; it’s possible that he recruited a team of layabouts who can’t be bothered to come to the field and play a game that we’re all supposed to love. In the end, though, it doesn’t matter. Purple will take care of business, and that’s all you need to know. That Burkhardt kid is kind of good, the ladies are great, and Matt Terza is probably the captain of the year for having such a pretty record without 3 of his supposed studs. In a cakewalk, the Purpitrators will win by 6.

F3: Carolina-Royal

This one should be a pretty good game. Let’s run through the matchups.

• Speed: Royal has a strong advantage, with the likes of Fletcher and Gardiner coming to mind. Inman, of course, can run with the best of them, but he’s a little outmatched here.
• The deep ball: Strong advantage for Carolina: Switzer still has the best arm in the game.
• Cutting: Slight advantage to Carolina. McCall, Parker Kelly, and Jessica Langebrake will be able to cut to space- it won’t matter though, if Switzer can’t see them or the poaches deep.
• Smarts: It’s kind of even, since neither team is all that bright. Yes, Lu will be brilliant for Royal, but at some point Touchton and Cravey will both touch the disc, which is an automatic throw away. As for Carolina, it’ll all be about Switzer’s huck. If it works, they’ll win and he’ll throw it all day. If he has turns, he’ll start calling his own number to go deep so that somebody can huck it to him. In this case, believing in the deep throw is more a matter of faith than intelligence.

Based on all of that, I’ve got to put my money on Unprotected Hucking. It won’t be pretty, but it will be a win. Unprotected Hucking by 2.

F4: Silver-Gold

AMBF (Silver) will take care of business and WHAC-SAC (Vegas) will be exposed as the frauds that they are. Frankly, Silver has better players in more spots. Dahl, TK, Forehand and Branyon will all have to be accounted for, which will give the likes of LeMay, Jersey, and Demir a freehand to do whatever they want. As for Vegas, Falk’s best solution, then, will be to hope for wind and rain, run a zone, and play disciplined O, with the disc being recycled through the Danimal. Though close, this is all just a simple question of firepower, and Silver has too much. AMBF by 3.

F5: Forest-Orange

6 weeks and a lifetime ago, So Fresh & So Green, Green (Forest) crushed Pulp Flicktion (Orange). Back then, however, Calvin was 100% and Orange was out of sorts. Since then, both squads have gone an impressive 7-2, which makes this game crucial for securing a Wildcard Bye. The fact of the matter, though, is that the Showkiller has owned every single Zach Floyd team since 2009. Zone? Ok. Boring. Foul? Ok. Contest. And look- it’s not just Zach: it’s the entire system and culture of Orange. Mike Taylor opted for the safety and security of a team that will always be on the weak side of greatness. As for Forest, this is just another game. Their goal is to get the win, chill out next week and start playing for real in the Quarters. So Fresh and So Green, Green by 2.

F6: Red-Maroon

The Australian Strategy is in a little trouble for a few reasons: first, they’ll only (at best!) have one woman. Second, the AS has been bad all season with checkered play by virtually everyone. As for Hammers & Sickles, Kek’s poach D and Thatcher’s hucks might be enough to gain an early, insurmountable lead. Let’s be honest though: this game doesn’t matter. Both teams are playing in the Wildcard and their respective fates will be decided elsewhere. Do I have to pick a winner? Fine: Hammers and Sickles by 2.

Predictions for “Game 4″

Showkiller — Thu, 05 Jul 2012 19:39:12 +0000

The Sour Age
Predictions for “Game 4”
July 5, 2012
By: Jack Skunk

Ponz’s art for the week! The Dice don’t lie!

All right boys and girls: it’s time for me to stop being lazy. Today, I’m going to write predictions for game 4. I would have done some skunk rankings, but let’s be honest: I’d just be recycling jokes or telling you what you already know. Speaking of jokes, how about that Navy team? Let’s do some predictions.

Game #4:

F1: Navy-White

Bro Tip (Navy) is just terrible. I don’t know if it’s the leadership or the fact that Josh recruited a stable of indifferent players. Don’t Viars and Sockie like to play ultimate? As for Frosted Flicks (White), they’re going to roll. Nick is an A+ talent and can’t be stopped (even if Brice were healthy) and- oh yeah!- White will be able to field a team, whereas Bro Tip probably can’t. Look for Duckett to shut down Derulo (assuming he’s there) and for Gettino to be open all day long. Frosted Flicks by 6 (if Navy doesn’t forfeit).

F2: Silver-Royal

I have long argued that AMBF (Silver) is one of the elite teams in league. Not only are they strong at the top, but with the likes of Huseyin and Derek Ward in support, the super friends are nearly unstoppable. As for Unprotected Hucking (Royal), it’s pretty clear that they’re drawing dead. Sure, Lu will have a fine game as will Broboff, but in a contest of power against power, the Friends are unstoppable. As long as Nick McGrane’s car doesn’t get stolen and he makes it to the field, then it’s be all Silver from the first pull on. AMBF by 4.

F3: Carolina-Maroon

False Skydols (Carolina) is coming off a 2-0 performance while the Australian Strategy is currently enjoying a 7 game losing streak. The reason for both of their atrocious records has been absences. For the Strategy, Tim Sannes and David Goldsmith have been consistent no-shows, while Captain Massica has been having trouble getting to the field due to a variety of social engagements. With both squads nearly at full strength, my guess is that the False Skydols will be fine. Team Greathouse has forgotten how to win, and momentum favors Carolina. Still, it’ll be close. False Skydols by 2.

F4: Orange-Gold

Clearly, this is the game of the night! Both Pulp (Orange) and WHAC-SAC (Vegas) have a potential claim for the Wildcard Bye. Based on experience, I’d say that Pulp Flicktion has the advantage; in that this tired old retread of Darkside of Maroon has been playing together forever and repeatedly almost winning it all- in a sense, they’re the Buffalo Bills, circa 1992. Yes, we all know the zone and the called plays and the great spirit they’ll show if things get close, though it shouldn’t be. But wait: Vegas has been on fire all season, and with the likes of Haydn and Colby and Shane, the speedsters of Orange (besides Taylor) are going to have trouble getting loose. In a bit of an upset then, Vegas will win on Universe.

F5: Forest-Black

What’s funny is that Black’s bad attitude started off more as a joke, but DK has really embraced the Always Angry theme- he genuinely seems grumpy as soon as the disc gets pulled. It should also be pointed out that Black is a little better than expected, with the likes of Ragsdale, Cobelens, Zawodny and Daigle all showing some good speed. The key though, is for Stone and Kahn to not be black holes, which is akin to asking the sun to not rise. As for So Fresh & So Green, Green (Forest), I have no doubt that the Showkiller will get the win. Vannoy’s cast should be off, Cody Johns will probably make an appearance, and Smock will need to attend so that he can write: “Dear Diary: I won another regular season game. My record is now 87-3. I am so awesome,” as Alana graciously bows to the adoring fans that undoubtedly watch her every move. So Fresh & So Green, Green by 3.

F6: Red- Purple

Hammers and Sickles (Red) is one of the more dangerous teams in all of league. Rippe, for example, is coming along quite nicely as a young prospect, while the Ekkebai should be back in town. Their combination of speed-poach D, and patient “wait for it” huck offense means that they do stand a chance. The problem though, is that they’re running into the buzzsaw that are the Purpitrators (Purple). The cougars (Clea, JoJo, Cathy) and the boys (Wachob, Boggs, Terza and Terza) should be more than enough to out muscle Team Tran. In a close one, it’ll be the Purpitrators by 2.

Look for Game 11 predictions tomorrow.