The Sour Age
Skunk Rankings 1-6
June 20, 2012
By: Jack Skunk
It’s Skunk Ranking time, and here is what I know for a fact: Purple, Green and Silver are for real. Orange or Vegas could crash the party, while Red is a virtual lock for chump discs. On the bottom side, we know that Maroon, Navy and Carolina are just awful, that Royal and White are in disarray, and that Black is playing every game like it’s the playoffs since DK doesn’t understand how completely irrelevant his team is- more on that tomorrow though. Here’s 1-6:
1. Purpitrators (Purple, 7-0). Team Terza is undefeated, and they’ve been doing it the hard way all season long. The absent players have had no effect: instead, Purple has proven that raw athleticism is better than experience. The mix of cougars (Joanne, Cathy, Clea) and puppies (Burkhardt, Boggs, etc) is extremely effective. I pity every team that has to step in front of this juggernaut. My one and only concern is that Phil Campbell will get healthy and then destroy Purple’s chemistry. Take your time to heal, boss!
2. So Fresh & So Green, Green (Forest, 6-1). The Showkiller has a very pretty record and he’s poised to win his 3rd summer in a row. We all know that regular season records don’t matter for the “good” teams, so Philly is keeping it real. I suspect his only goal is to get the Wildcard Bye and then to patiently wait for Calvin to heal. Once that happens, all bets are off. Just a word of warning though, Philly: So Fresh isn’t Whiskey Disc. You’ll actually have to earn this championship!
3. AMBF <3 (Silver, 4-3). Nick McGrane’s friends are starting to climb to the heights where they belong. The list of ballers on this team is oh so deep and I think that once the shit gets serious, the best any other team can hope for is to win close. Now that TK is retired, he’s got nothing better to do than to show up and win games. The magic 8-Ball says that Silver is a lock for the finals. After that, though, I foresee a less than spirited, brutal fight for 175 grams of plastic.
4. WHAC-SAC (Vegas, 5-2). Team Falk is doing quite well. Brasher and Burtt were both outstanding pickups, their ladies are solid, while the Danimal is WHAC-SAC’s beating heart. Vegas certainly does have a shot at making the champ bracket, but I wouldn’t bet more than a quarter on it. Instead, I see them as being one of the better mediocre teams. Their season, though, will be perfect if they can take another shot at Royal and humiliate them- preferably in the WC game.
5. Pulp Flicktion (Orange, 5-2). Rebuilding Dark Side of Maroon (again) is always a good choice. Sure, nobody will like you and you’ll have no chance of winning league, but at least you’re guaranteed a pretty regular season record. The key, of course, is Gordon-Walker-Taylor and horrible weather. If it’s rainy or windy in a critical game, then their lame, tired Zone just might be good enough to win that 4th spot.
6. Hammers & Sickles (Red, 4-3). Scott Tran deserves to be the captain of the year, since this little team has over-performed thus far. With Kek and Erica back in the line up, team H&S has turned into a dangerous mix of swing-huck, with good height and speed (Rippe, Vogt). There is no chance that Red will go into the basement, but I like their chances of winning chump discs!
Look for 7-12 tomorrow.