Summer League 2012

The Sour Age
Predictions for “Game 4”
July 5, 2012
By: Jack Skunk

All right boys and girls: it’s time for me to stop being lazy. Today, I’m going to write predictions for game 4. I would have done some skunk rankings, but let’s be honest: I’d just be recycling jokes or telling you what you already know. Speaking of jokes, how about that Navy team? Let’s do some predictions.

Game #4:

F1: Navy-White

Bro Tip (Navy) is just terrible. I don’t know if it’s the leadership or the fact that Josh recruited a stable of indifferent players. Don’t Viars and Sockie like to play ultimate? As for Frosted Flicks (White), they’re going to roll. Nick is an A+ talent and can’t be stopped (even if Brice were healthy) and- oh yeah!- White will be able to field a team, whereas Bro Tip probably can’t. Look for Duckett to shut down Derulo (assuming he’s there) and for Gettino to be open all day long. Frosted Flicks by 6 (if Navy doesn’t forfeit).

F2: Silver-Royal

I have long argued that AMBF (Silver) is one of the elite teams in league. Not only are they strong at the top, but with the likes of Huseyin and Derek Ward in support, the super friends are nearly unstoppable. As for Unprotected Hucking (Royal), it’s pretty clear that they’re drawing dead. Sure, Lu will have a fine game as will Broboff, but in a contest of power against power, the Friends are unstoppable. As long as Nick McGrane’s car doesn’t get stolen and he makes it to the field, then it’s be all Silver from the first pull on. AMBF by 4.

F3: Carolina-Maroon

False Skydols (Carolina) is coming off a 2-0 performance while the Australian Strategy is currently enjoying a 7 game losing streak. The reason for both of their atrocious records has been absences. For the Strategy, Tim Sannes and David Goldsmith have been consistent no-shows, while Captain Massica has been having trouble getting to the field due to a variety of social engagements. With both squads nearly at full strength, my guess is that the False Skydols will be fine. Team Greathouse has forgotten how to win, and momentum favors Carolina. Still, it’ll be close. False Skydols by 2.

F4: Orange-Gold

Clearly, this is the game of the night! Both Pulp (Orange) and WHAC-SAC (Vegas) have a potential claim for the Wildcard Bye. Based on experience, I’d say that Pulp Flicktion has the advantage; in that this tired old retread of Darkside of Maroon has been playing together forever and repeatedly almost winning it all- in a sense, they’re the Buffalo Bills, circa 1992. Yes, we all know the zone and the called plays and the great spirit they’ll show if things get close, though it shouldn’t be. But wait: Vegas has been on fire all season, and with the likes of Haydn and Colby and Shane, the speedsters of Orange (besides Taylor) are going to have trouble getting loose. In a bit of an upset then, Vegas will win on Universe.

F5: Forest-Black

What’s funny is that Black’s bad attitude started off more as a joke, but DK has really embraced the Always Angry theme- he genuinely seems grumpy as soon as the disc gets pulled. It should also be pointed out that Black is a little better than expected, with the likes of Ragsdale, Cobelens, Zawodny and Daigle all showing some good speed. The key though, is for Stone and Kahn to not be black holes, which is akin to asking the sun to not rise. As for So Fresh & So Green, Green (Forest), I have no doubt that the Showkiller will get the win. Vannoy’s cast should be off, Cody Johns will probably make an appearance, and Smock will need to attend so that he can write: “Dear Diary: I won another regular season game. My record is now 87-3. I am so awesome,” as Alana graciously bows to the adoring fans that undoubtedly watch her every move. So Fresh & So Green, Green by 3.

F6: Red- Purple

Hammers and Sickles (Red) is one of the more dangerous teams in all of league. Rippe, for example, is coming along quite nicely as a young prospect, while the Ekkebai should be back in town. Their combination of speed-poach D, and patient “wait for it” huck offense means that they do stand a chance. The problem though, is that they’re running into the buzzsaw that are the Purpitrators (Purple). The cougars (Clea, JoJo, Cathy) and the boys (Wachob, Boggs, Terza and Terza) should be more than enough to out muscle Team Tran. In a close one, it’ll be the Purpitrators by 2.

Look for Game 11 predictions tomorrow.